For some people, music is like a time machine that can transport them back to a time in the past. With me it's movies, particularly ones I've seen at the cinema.
I can chart my whole life through the films I've been to see.
1971 - Diamonds are Forever. The first movie I can remember seeing at the cinema, with my dad. I was nearly 4. I have no recollection of the plot except seeing James Bond drive his car on two wheels. I don't think I ever went to the cinema with my dad again, as he died shortly after.
1974 - The Sound of Music. Not its original release date. One of only two films I can remember seeing with my mum, also went with elderly neighbour Auntie Gertie, whose house was always bloody freezing. I wanted tobe in the Von Trapp family, and wear curtains for clothes and sock it to the Nazis.
1977 - Star Wars. The first time I was ever completely blown away by a film on the big screen. George Lucas didn't need to do all that tweaking years later. If there were any technical deficiencies, my imagination filled in the gaps.
1978 - Grease. I had no desire to go see this. I went with my babysitter Susan who used to spend all her time babysitting us playing the Bee Gees and the Grease soundtrack, to the extent that the neighbours used to bang on the walls. In the days before advance ticketing we got there to find the first screening of the day was full, so we had to queue for the whole length of the film outside in the sun with no drinks until the film had run its course, and we could get in. For the record, I liked Olivia Newton John better before she got all tarted up in leather.
1979 - Superman. Went to see this with my entire primary school class, including Shelagh Peters, who I'm still in touch with till this day. I had some national health specs of my own so I looked more like Clark Kent than Superman. The special effects were rubbish, especially the running and Margot Kidder was too ugly to play Lois Lane but we didn't care, because it was a trip out. And twenty years later we got Teri Hatcher instead in the TV version so all was well.
1980 - Flash Gordon. Another ticketing fiasco. My mum took me and my brother to see this in the Christmas holidays, but it had sold out and so we went to see Smurfs and the Magic Flute instead, which was abysmal. We were so disappointed she gave us the money to go back the next day and see Flash Gordon and we sat on the front row, and it was amazing, at least I thought so until I saw it last week and I thought it was camper than a VW camper van.
1982 - Empire Strikes Back. Got bloody told in Tony Beecrofts back garden that Darth Vader was Luke's father so that bollocksed up going to see this one, but the much darker tone was in keeping with becoming a teenager.
1983 - Tootsie. Saw this in Germany. No bloody idea what was going on. Dustin Hoffman in a dress. Bill Murray eating lemons. Me laughing in all the wrong places.
1983 -Escape to Victory. An exception to the cinema rule, but notable as the first film I ever saw on VHS. Courtesy of my step dad, we got a top loading video recorder with a remote on a piece of wire that weighed about 70 kilograms, and this was the first film we ever watched on it.
1984 - Lady and the Tramp. Part of my trying to impress Susannah Taylor phase, I was trying to look wacky by going to see a Disney movie aged 16. Queueing up for ice cream with a load of toddlers just made me look like an arse. Not as good as the Aristocats.
1985 - Weird Science. With Katie Oddy. A totally pointless first date is to go to the cinema only, and not speak, and then say goodbye at the end and not have a clue whether you like each other, and then not see each other again out of indifference. That was me and Katie.
1985 - Back to the Future. Took my brother on the train to Leeds to see it. Incredible. Right from the opening scene I was hooked. The scorched tyre marks amazing. Look how far we'd come since Superman.
1985 - Ghostbusters. I remember going with schoolfriends aged 17 and people singing along to the theme tune during the opening credits.
1985 - The Never Ending Story. I went with Paul Edgar to see this because we had become fans of all things German and this was a Wolfgang Petersen job.
1986 - Rocky IV. Saw this with Joe Pasquale style Italian dubbing in
Italy, and then took Joanne Phillips to see it on my return to England.
Not really a suitable date movie. It's basically cars, rock music and
people getting punched.
1986 - Out of Africa. Trying a bit harder with Joanne, by going to see a more chick friendly movie. I'm not sure if I found it genuinely moving or if I was just trying to be at one with her. Never seen it since so I don't know.
1986
- 9 and a Half Weeks. Trying too hard with Joanne but in the wrong
way. Fell asleep out of sheer boredom, and what a waste of food by the lead actors. I know why it's called 9 and a half weeks. It's because that's how long you feel like you're in there for.
1987 - Children of a Lesser God. If you're trying to fight against being dumped by the girl you love, don't go see Childrne of a Lesser God. A film about two people who can't communicate because one's deaf and the other isn't, doesn't help to bridge the gap. I knew it was over after this.
1987 - Ferris Bueller's Day off. I went to see this with Dan Jackson, during our year off together. Appropriate that I went to see a film about someone having a day off when I was having a year off. I thought he was so cool then, now he just seems irresponsible (Ferris Bueller that is)
1987 - Lethal Weapon. Went to see this with Dan and Graham Tyler, who was home from Uni for Christmas.
1987 - Robocop. In 1987 you could still go see films for a pound at the Cannon cinema in Halifax. Went with my girlfriend / first wife Beverley. Not exactly a date movie. Probably the most graphically bloody movie I'd ever seen.
1990 - Total Recall. Dan was home from Uni and went to see this with him and Beverley, and she drove in our car that we'd just bought. After Robocop I was now ready for another Paul Verhoeven bloodbathm and I was genuinely wowed by the special effects.
1991 - Terminator 2. Again, special effects that could knock your socks off, but a tip for indestructible metal objects. Stop going to massive industrial complexes where there's loads of hot metal everywhere. Stay safe in the countryside.
1994 - Timecop and Stargate. When Beverley was in the Nuffield
hospital after having major bowel surgery, they used to let me take her out in the evenings. Went to see these two films at the showcase, I remember she was carrying one of those cardboard hat style sick
bowls around. It felt strange being there amongst all the well dressed young people, but it was nice to be out.
1995 - Apollo 13. Went to the preview screening of this before the official release, and so there were no trailers. Incredible how gripping I could find a film where I know the ending before it starts. The launch of the Saturn V rocket sequence still almost makes me cry to this day.
1998 - Flubber. having step children resulted in having to go see this total
Robin Williams bollocks. Not since Smurfs and the Magic Flute with
little brother have I been so bored at the cinema.
1998 - The Rugrats Movie. I paid for the four of us to go see this and
to have a Burger King with money I got for having an article published
in the Church Times. What a waste. Even worse than Flubber.
1998 - Armageddon. Went to see this with Ruth the first time we ever had a few days to ourselves when the kids went to their dad's for 5 days. This was more like it. I still quote it to this day.
1998 - The Truman Show. Just before it was killed by the Multiplex went to see this at the Odeon in Middlesbrough. Full of drunk teenagers, one of which puked on the seat in front of us. Pungent smell of second hand cheap cider permeated the screening.
1999 - The Phantom Menace. Spent the evening of our wedding at the cinema. The honeymoon was delayed due to Becky having to go to A&E after falling off a swing. I've still got the ticket somewhere, as a souvenir.
1999 - The Matrix. Went to see this with Ruth, and it was the last film where I was truly wowed by the special effects. Now I mostly think they spoil the film rather than make it.
2001 - 2003 - The Lord of the Rings. Three Christmasses running went to see this with Ruth and Michael. Although the films are totally preposterous I enjoyed them. The worst bit was hearing devotees of the books chuntering about plot inaccuracies during the closing credits, that and that Annie Lennox bloody theme tune woman.
2004 - The Bourne Supremacy. As well as being an incredible action movie and the best one of the trilogy, I also got to revisit Berlin and Munich vicariously through the set pieces in the film.
2007 - Hot Fuzz. Seeing our honeymoon destination being shot to pieces made me feel better about the whole disastrous episode.
2011 - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. As if to rebel against the overuse of special effects, they have made a film which is basically just blokes in rooms talking. It was like going to see the World Staring Championships, but it was better than Transformers.
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