Thursday 1 December 2011

I swapped my dad for Tonka Toys

My dad died on Halloween and he was cremated on Bonfire Night.  I didn’t fully appreciate the irony at the time as I was only six and I could barely read and write.  In fact, at the very moment he was having his third and fatal heart attack I was at school learning how to add up.

It was 1974.  We lived in a corner shop in Garforth near Leeds.  I didn’t notice when I got home from school that the shop was closed.  I often find it difficult to trust people and when I got in that day there were lots of people there and they were all smiling and happy looking as if me walking in was the greatest day of their lives.  My mum asked me to go upstairs with her.  This gets better I thought, a present of some kind.  But no.  My dad was dead and I would be watching the Six Million Dollar Man on my own tonight.  We’d only just got a colour telly.  What a waste!  I’d always enjoyed Bonfire Night but the day of the funeral I wasn’t really in the mood.  I could see the cricket club bonfire out of my bedroom window, but I didn’t go.

For a long time I cried into my baked beans at mealtimes and didn’t play out.  Belinda Smith (my favourite girl when I was six) had seen my dad’s death in the paper.  He was 40 she reminded me during story time.  It seemed old then, but that’s younger than I am now. 

After we sold the shop we had to live in a caravan for 5 months as our new council house was being modernised.  My brother Phil was in terry nappies so laundry was a pain and he didn’t help matters much by drinking disinfectant out of pop bottle one day.  But it was okay because they sobered him up with milk and gave him a cardboard hat to be sick in.

We lived next door to some dodgy families and I made loads of dinosaurs out of egg boxes and bits of fake fur and other crap which they store in boxes at primary school and someone broke into our caravan and tore them all up.

It was easy enough to do because you could get a child’s hand inside our letter box and open the caravan door from the inside.

We managed to run a black and white telly off a car battery but as the battery ran down the picture got smaller until it disappeared.  There was nothing on in those days anyway.

For our first Christmas as a one parent family two of my dad’s sisters Aunties Dot and Joan stepped in at first to look after us.  We went to Dot’s for Christmas.  It was a strange transaction.  Being taken to Sheffield and given about 20 Tonka Toys each for Christmas.  I think the whole extended family had had a whip round. To a child’s mind it seemed to be a case of ‘Ere you go, sorry about your dad, here’s a shitload of indestructible metal toys’.  We got 2 of everything. 

After 5 months in the caravan we got a council house.  We still lived near the dodgy families but now they had houses and so did we, and our doors now had locks that you needed a key for.

And even if they had been able to break in, we didn’t have toys made out of egg boxes and bits of fake fur anymore.  We had masses of Tonka Toys that we could smash the skirting boards to bits with as my mum soon discovered to her cost.  And they did not.

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