May 1979 - I only popped out for a hot dog, and they let Thatcher in

The first time I had mustard was up the Eiffel Tower.  I bought a hot dog, and they had this yellow stuff in bottles, and I thought that must be French ketchup and so I piled loads of it on my hot dog and then seconds later my tongue was melting off, and the hot dog ended up in the bin at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

But since then I have developed a taste for mustard and I often have it in sandwiches, and when I do it makes me think of my mum making us sandwiches when I was younger because she generally puts mustard in sandwiches, especially ham ones.

That trip to France was in May 1979.  It was the first time I'd ever been abroad.  I only went out of the country for 5 days, and Thatcher got elected while I was gone.  I found this out from a teacher who had bought a paper on the Champs Elysees.  She got in again in 1987 while I was in Germany.  She was always getting elected while I was out of the country.

That trip was great, but the coach journey wasn't.  We didn't go on one of those fancy buses with the toilets that they have now.  We just went on the same Wallace Arnold bus that we used to go a mile up the road to Kippax swimming baths in.  They're fine for just nipping round the corner, but they're not much good for an 18 hour journey to Paris.

That trip cost £63 which was an absolute bargain.  I also got a £4 reduction for not having a dad, because it should have been £67 but we asked for a reduction for being a one parent family.

I took some spending money, and I can't remember how much, but I know it cost 40p for a hot chocolate at the services at 5 in the morning and the West German football team were also in the services on their way back from beating Wales in a Euro 1980 qualifier.  I only recognised them from the tracksuits.  I didn't know who they were.  I bet the present international football teams don't stop at the services for a bacon bun and a ripoff coffee.

We got to see all the sights of Paris.  As well as the Eiffel Tower, we went to the Arc de Triomphe, the Louvre and Sacre Coeur.  I got terrified on the top of the Arc de Triomphe because I thought I might fall off, with the top being open, and even though the Eiffel Tower is a lot higher and you can feel it sway in the wind, it's all closed in so you can't fall off and that was okay.  I also saw the Mona Lisa and I was surprised how small it was.  We did also get driven round Paris at night on the Wally Arnold bus and got to see it all lit up.

One night in the hotel the teachers all went off to the bar to get hammered with the bus drivers and they left us unattended and we were running around the corridors of the hotel throwing fig biscuits at each other, and some of the girls were doing handstands against the wall and showing their knickers.  I'd never seen a fig biscuit before and having tried one at a later time I can see why they were getting thrown about rather than eaten.  They're horrible. 

And I shared a room with Richard Sharp and Andrew Greenwood, and we had bedside tables with lights in and I didn't see Andrew for about 5 years after that and the next time I did he was riding down Garforth Main Street on a bike with a green mohican (haircut, not a person).

At the time I took it all for granted, but now I marvel at the organisational skills of teachers, for taking a group of small children to a foreign country and taking us round all the sights of Paris.  I don't even like looking after small children while their parents are in the loo.