I went to see Skyfall yesterday. The new James Bond film. Wow, things aren't what they used to be.
The film was 2 hours 20 long, but it could have been over in the first 3 minutes. James Bond fell off a train and went headfirst into a river at about a hundred miles an hour. Do that in real life and you die. Added to that he'd been shot, so he definitely shouldn't have made it. It wasn't the only implausible bit of the storyline either. He also had a punch up underwater in a frozen lake, which went on for about 10 minutes longer than the world underwater holding your breath record, added to which, as I know from watching Bear Grylls, if you fall into a frozen lake, you can't move after about the first 10 seconds because your body completely shuts down. Apart from these glaring factual inaccuracies, I really enjoyed the film.
It started off like they usually do with lots of people getting punched in the head, and stuff getting wrecked and blown up, but then it all went a bit low tech and old-fashioned. It was almost like they used up all the budget in the first half, and the last hour was seriously affected by austerity measures. James Bond used to routinely get helicopters and underwater cars, all he got in this one was a gun and a radio, and he even had to go back to his own house in an old car towards the end and raid the cupboards for something to fight with.
Without giving the end of the film away, it was a lot like watching the 80s TV series the A-Team where BA Baracus has to disable a posse of heavily armed men with a wheelbarrow full of cabbages and a potato gun. Judi Dench bless her was making bombs out of leftover curry paste and staples and even Daniel Craig was struggling to find something deadly to massacre the helicopters full of ninjas with that arrived on his doorstep.
One thing I really liked about the film was that there was quite a lot of talking in it, especially between James Bond and the bad guy, played by Javier Bardem. I can't be doing with films when it's a non-stop Transformer-a-thon of special effects, where there's not even a gap long enough between explosions to check whether you've got tinnitus or not. I especially liked the bad guy's entrance where he started talking at James Bond while he was still absolutely miles away, and I was even thinking he probably should have used a megaphone, or got closer before he started, but I'm sure he had some sort of microphone near him, what with it being a film and all. I really liked Javier Bardem as the villain. He managed to convey just the right air of menace and was just crazy enough, without going completely over the top. He was a lot more like Dennis Hopper in Speed than Heath Ledger in Batman.
Another good thing about the film was that it was very old person friendly. I've written before about poor old Roger Moore in Octopussy, running around at age 57 chinning circus performers whilst wearing big cloppy shoes and gorilla outfits, but this one was even kinder to old folk. The last 20 minutes saw the positively ancient pairing of Judi Dench and Albert Finney, trying to run around but being barely able to move, yet still managing to dodge bullets and explosions. At one point Albert Finney does a brilliant impersonation of a statue, when someone shoots a gun at him and he doesn't even move. He just waits there while the bullet blows the doorframe he's standing in apart. At his age, he wouldn't have seen it coming till about 10 minutes after he'd been shot.
As well as watching old people failing to run around on the screen, the audience at the screening we went to were ancient as well. It was the middle of the afternoon on Orange Wednesday but it looked like a reunion of all the people who'd been at the original Dr No screening 50 years ago. I haven't seen so many sticks and wheelchairs since I went past the motability store in Stockton the other day. I was almost getting comfortable in my seat when the old lady with the two sticks who was trying to get to her seat behind me started rocking my seat backwards and forwards like I was on a see saw, just before she fell over and had to be helped up by some other crumblies.
After spending so much time lately working with people who look about 12, I felt like I'd accidentally stumbled on to the set of Last of the Summer Wine.
The old ladies in particular wouldn't have been disappointed, as Daniel Craig in particular looked chiselled and rugged throughout, so chiselled and rugged in fact, he looked almost pixalated. He did gratuitously get his kit off a couple of times for the benefit of the grandmas in the audience, although it didn't do much for me. And it wasn't the best Bond film I've seen for Bond girls either, the ones that were in it were either disappointing, or dead.
But as for storyline, and excitement, it was one of the best, and I'd definitely recommend it. Even if there was no hollowed out volcano with hundreds of people in coloured jumpsuits and a megalomaniac with a massive laser and a plan to takeover the world in it, it was still a really good film.
And much as I still enjoy watching the old slapstick Roger Moore doing his one liners after he's thrown someone out of a window, I'm warming to Daniel Craig. I wasn't a big fan of his after Casino Royale, and I've never seen Quantum of Solace, but I enjoyed him in this, and I feel like he's lightening up a bit now he's got into his stride.
Looking forward to the next one....
The film was 2 hours 20 long, but it could have been over in the first 3 minutes. James Bond fell off a train and went headfirst into a river at about a hundred miles an hour. Do that in real life and you die. Added to that he'd been shot, so he definitely shouldn't have made it. It wasn't the only implausible bit of the storyline either. He also had a punch up underwater in a frozen lake, which went on for about 10 minutes longer than the world underwater holding your breath record, added to which, as I know from watching Bear Grylls, if you fall into a frozen lake, you can't move after about the first 10 seconds because your body completely shuts down. Apart from these glaring factual inaccuracies, I really enjoyed the film.
It started off like they usually do with lots of people getting punched in the head, and stuff getting wrecked and blown up, but then it all went a bit low tech and old-fashioned. It was almost like they used up all the budget in the first half, and the last hour was seriously affected by austerity measures. James Bond used to routinely get helicopters and underwater cars, all he got in this one was a gun and a radio, and he even had to go back to his own house in an old car towards the end and raid the cupboards for something to fight with.
Without giving the end of the film away, it was a lot like watching the 80s TV series the A-Team where BA Baracus has to disable a posse of heavily armed men with a wheelbarrow full of cabbages and a potato gun. Judi Dench bless her was making bombs out of leftover curry paste and staples and even Daniel Craig was struggling to find something deadly to massacre the helicopters full of ninjas with that arrived on his doorstep.
One thing I really liked about the film was that there was quite a lot of talking in it, especially between James Bond and the bad guy, played by Javier Bardem. I can't be doing with films when it's a non-stop Transformer-a-thon of special effects, where there's not even a gap long enough between explosions to check whether you've got tinnitus or not. I especially liked the bad guy's entrance where he started talking at James Bond while he was still absolutely miles away, and I was even thinking he probably should have used a megaphone, or got closer before he started, but I'm sure he had some sort of microphone near him, what with it being a film and all. I really liked Javier Bardem as the villain. He managed to convey just the right air of menace and was just crazy enough, without going completely over the top. He was a lot more like Dennis Hopper in Speed than Heath Ledger in Batman.
Another good thing about the film was that it was very old person friendly. I've written before about poor old Roger Moore in Octopussy, running around at age 57 chinning circus performers whilst wearing big cloppy shoes and gorilla outfits, but this one was even kinder to old folk. The last 20 minutes saw the positively ancient pairing of Judi Dench and Albert Finney, trying to run around but being barely able to move, yet still managing to dodge bullets and explosions. At one point Albert Finney does a brilliant impersonation of a statue, when someone shoots a gun at him and he doesn't even move. He just waits there while the bullet blows the doorframe he's standing in apart. At his age, he wouldn't have seen it coming till about 10 minutes after he'd been shot.
As well as watching old people failing to run around on the screen, the audience at the screening we went to were ancient as well. It was the middle of the afternoon on Orange Wednesday but it looked like a reunion of all the people who'd been at the original Dr No screening 50 years ago. I haven't seen so many sticks and wheelchairs since I went past the motability store in Stockton the other day. I was almost getting comfortable in my seat when the old lady with the two sticks who was trying to get to her seat behind me started rocking my seat backwards and forwards like I was on a see saw, just before she fell over and had to be helped up by some other crumblies.
After spending so much time lately working with people who look about 12, I felt like I'd accidentally stumbled on to the set of Last of the Summer Wine.
The old ladies in particular wouldn't have been disappointed, as Daniel Craig in particular looked chiselled and rugged throughout, so chiselled and rugged in fact, he looked almost pixalated. He did gratuitously get his kit off a couple of times for the benefit of the grandmas in the audience, although it didn't do much for me. And it wasn't the best Bond film I've seen for Bond girls either, the ones that were in it were either disappointing, or dead.
But as for storyline, and excitement, it was one of the best, and I'd definitely recommend it. Even if there was no hollowed out volcano with hundreds of people in coloured jumpsuits and a megalomaniac with a massive laser and a plan to takeover the world in it, it was still a really good film.
And much as I still enjoy watching the old slapstick Roger Moore doing his one liners after he's thrown someone out of a window, I'm warming to Daniel Craig. I wasn't a big fan of his after Casino Royale, and I've never seen Quantum of Solace, but I enjoyed him in this, and I feel like he's lightening up a bit now he's got into his stride.
Looking forward to the next one....
Not my favorite Bond film of all-time, but still one of the better ones in recent time. I definitely look forward to seeing where they go with this franchise now. Good review.
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