Christmas is supposed to be the season of goodwill to all men, whereas more often than not it's simply the season to go mental and start behaving like a madman. The shops don't really help matters. As soon as it gets to the end of November Tesco starts barricading the entrance to its stores with multipacks of beer and tins of Roses, anyone would think that's all they sell.
This year because of Ruth being at work from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day, the lack of small children at home and my latest imminent bout of unemployment I decided to handle the festivities in a very low key way.
I didn't bother getting the tree out of the loft, I figured there'd be no-one to see it. Instead I decorated the fireplace with the 7 Christmas cards I received and two sets of battery operated fairy lights which I stole off Ruth's bike.
I didn't send any Christmas cards, which is a real money saver since stamps are expensive.
I hardly bought any presents for anyone, and the ones I did give, I bought on the internet and I gave them in the cardboard boxes they arrived in, saving on wrapping paper. The only presents I actually wrapped were for Alex and Rosie and I wrapped those in leftover birthday paper.
I knew the shops would be shut twice for one day at a time, once on Christmas Day and once on New Year's Day, As a result, on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve I bought enough food to last two days, not fifteen. At no point did I start panic buying twiglets, mixed nuts and Advocaat. I didn't stockpile Celebrations and Quality Street and massive variety packs of cheese. I pretty much just ate normally each day of the festive period, and on no one day did I eat portions that would have been more in keeping with being an Olympic rower.
I barely did any cooking, but I managed to have lots of nice meals with family and friends. None of these involved me dirtying any of my own plates though, which really saved on washing up. I had one meal at the pub with my mum and Ruth, and I had 3 other meals at other people's houses ie the Johnsons, Holdsworths and Grahams. The lack of dishes to do was a real time and effort saver.
I worked in two different shops during the 7 weeks before Christmas, and I saw lots of stressed people unable to walk under the weight of shopping bags, tying themselves up in knots, trying to fulfil their Christmas buying responsibilities and talking about how many people they still had to buy for. I pretty much didn't buy for anyone, and the presents I did buy were cheap. It was much less stressful.
I had a couple of glasses of wine and a small tumbler of Bailey's over the Christmas period but at no point did I go out ransacking any town centres after spending all my Christmas wages on jelly shots and Jaeger bombs. I drank mostly orange juice and the odd J2O with glitter in. I didn't get completely wasted and start smashing chairs over people's head and getting thrown in the back of a police van on Black Eye Friday. On that particular evening I finished work at 9, I bought a bottle of Lucozade from the shop on the way home, and then I stayed in being completely non-violent.
I'm not saying this type of Christmas is for everyone. Each to his own. If you want to spend all your money on expensive gadgets and 700 cans of Stella and your holiday time eating yourself stupid and getting Turkey poisoning and going round chinning people and getting arrested well that's up to you.
But for this year at least, I think I'll stick to my own survival strategy. It's cheap, simple and surprisingly stress free.
This year because of Ruth being at work from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day, the lack of small children at home and my latest imminent bout of unemployment I decided to handle the festivities in a very low key way.
I didn't bother getting the tree out of the loft, I figured there'd be no-one to see it. Instead I decorated the fireplace with the 7 Christmas cards I received and two sets of battery operated fairy lights which I stole off Ruth's bike.
I didn't send any Christmas cards, which is a real money saver since stamps are expensive.
I hardly bought any presents for anyone, and the ones I did give, I bought on the internet and I gave them in the cardboard boxes they arrived in, saving on wrapping paper. The only presents I actually wrapped were for Alex and Rosie and I wrapped those in leftover birthday paper.
I knew the shops would be shut twice for one day at a time, once on Christmas Day and once on New Year's Day, As a result, on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve I bought enough food to last two days, not fifteen. At no point did I start panic buying twiglets, mixed nuts and Advocaat. I didn't stockpile Celebrations and Quality Street and massive variety packs of cheese. I pretty much just ate normally each day of the festive period, and on no one day did I eat portions that would have been more in keeping with being an Olympic rower.
I barely did any cooking, but I managed to have lots of nice meals with family and friends. None of these involved me dirtying any of my own plates though, which really saved on washing up. I had one meal at the pub with my mum and Ruth, and I had 3 other meals at other people's houses ie the Johnsons, Holdsworths and Grahams. The lack of dishes to do was a real time and effort saver.
I worked in two different shops during the 7 weeks before Christmas, and I saw lots of stressed people unable to walk under the weight of shopping bags, tying themselves up in knots, trying to fulfil their Christmas buying responsibilities and talking about how many people they still had to buy for. I pretty much didn't buy for anyone, and the presents I did buy were cheap. It was much less stressful.
I had a couple of glasses of wine and a small tumbler of Bailey's over the Christmas period but at no point did I go out ransacking any town centres after spending all my Christmas wages on jelly shots and Jaeger bombs. I drank mostly orange juice and the odd J2O with glitter in. I didn't get completely wasted and start smashing chairs over people's head and getting thrown in the back of a police van on Black Eye Friday. On that particular evening I finished work at 9, I bought a bottle of Lucozade from the shop on the way home, and then I stayed in being completely non-violent.
I'm not saying this type of Christmas is for everyone. Each to his own. If you want to spend all your money on expensive gadgets and 700 cans of Stella and your holiday time eating yourself stupid and getting Turkey poisoning and going round chinning people and getting arrested well that's up to you.
But for this year at least, I think I'll stick to my own survival strategy. It's cheap, simple and surprisingly stress free.
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