I once saw Gordon Banks at a service station, but I wasn't in the England team that won the World Cup.
I once saw Gazza and Brian Clough at some book signings, but I didn't cry in the World Cup semi final (although I almost cried watching it on the telly) and I didn't manage Nottingham Forest to two consecutive European Cup wins.
I once saw Bradley Wiggins in Darlington at the start of a bike race, but I didn't win the Tour de France.
I used to have a hamster and I used to have a dog and both of them were put to sleep by our local vets. And last week their daughter Kat Copeland won an Olympic gold medal in the rowing, but I didn't.
I made absolutely no contribution to any of these sporting events, but somehow I feel because of my teeny tiny bit of connectedness to the people who did, that this somehow reflects a bit of the glory onto me.
I live in a village that has got a golden postbox in honour of Kat, and I must remember to take my camera with me to Tesco in case I see her buying salad and I can get my picture taken with her.
And I never shout at the telly, but I shouted at the telly two Saturdays running because that brilliant little Mo Farah man wouldn't let anybody get in front of him in the 10,000 and the 5,000 metres.
And if the Buddhists are right, and we're all connected, then Mo was probably running round with water molecules and assorted atoms in his body that used to be part of me, so if you don't mind, I'd like to take a very small part of the glory for myself. And for all of us.
No doubt if I'd had some talent and dedication and training and financial support, and if I hadn't eaten so much chocolate I could have done something big in the world of sport, but the fact is I didn't.
But someone did. And I am tenously connected to them on some level.
And that's good enough for me!
Also, just as a footnote to my connectedness, I've been sporadically buying lottery tickets for about the last 20 years, and the most I've ever won is a tenner, and as a lot of these Olympic guys are lottery funded I probably paid for a chunk of one of those gold medals out of all the money I spent on totally not becoming a millionaire, so that's another reason why I should be up there on the podium waving my overhanging belly around and waving to the crowd alongside those little stick people with washboard stomachs.
I once saw Gazza and Brian Clough at some book signings, but I didn't cry in the World Cup semi final (although I almost cried watching it on the telly) and I didn't manage Nottingham Forest to two consecutive European Cup wins.
I once saw Bradley Wiggins in Darlington at the start of a bike race, but I didn't win the Tour de France.
I used to have a hamster and I used to have a dog and both of them were put to sleep by our local vets. And last week their daughter Kat Copeland won an Olympic gold medal in the rowing, but I didn't.
I made absolutely no contribution to any of these sporting events, but somehow I feel because of my teeny tiny bit of connectedness to the people who did, that this somehow reflects a bit of the glory onto me.
I live in a village that has got a golden postbox in honour of Kat, and I must remember to take my camera with me to Tesco in case I see her buying salad and I can get my picture taken with her.
And I never shout at the telly, but I shouted at the telly two Saturdays running because that brilliant little Mo Farah man wouldn't let anybody get in front of him in the 10,000 and the 5,000 metres.
And if the Buddhists are right, and we're all connected, then Mo was probably running round with water molecules and assorted atoms in his body that used to be part of me, so if you don't mind, I'd like to take a very small part of the glory for myself. And for all of us.
No doubt if I'd had some talent and dedication and training and financial support, and if I hadn't eaten so much chocolate I could have done something big in the world of sport, but the fact is I didn't.
But someone did. And I am tenously connected to them on some level.
And that's good enough for me!
Also, just as a footnote to my connectedness, I've been sporadically buying lottery tickets for about the last 20 years, and the most I've ever won is a tenner, and as a lot of these Olympic guys are lottery funded I probably paid for a chunk of one of those gold medals out of all the money I spent on totally not becoming a millionaire, so that's another reason why I should be up there on the podium waving my overhanging belly around and waving to the crowd alongside those little stick people with washboard stomachs.
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