I've ridden nearly 1000 miles by bike this year. All on the same bike. 200 miles of it was in India. Until today that is, when I got on a different bike. And that was my first mistake.
Apart from losing one or two non essential parts which were literally shaken off the bike in India I haven't had any serious mechanicals all year. I got through the entire Winter, some of it riding around Asia, without a single problem. And then we passed the Spring Equinox, and things started to unravel.
I never should have changed bikes. But it's the Spring I thought, so today I got my Spring and Summer bike out. By the same logic I also wore shorts. I can't be bothered looking out the window every time I go out, so I have a basic rule with shorts. If it's Spring or Summer, I wear shorts. If it's Autumn or Winter I wear longs. Last weekend it was Winter, so I was out in the blazing sun wearing more lagging than an elderly boiler, today it's the Spring so I was out in the freezing fog in shorts. Simples!
Anyway, I finished putting my Spring bike back together this morning, after I'd dismantled it in January during a pre-India panic attack. It all looked fine.
I set off around 8.15 this morning, with Stephen and Adam for company. It should have been at 8, but I was late. Partly because of all the things I had to adjust once I'd set off that I thought I'd put together properly before I left, and partly because I had quite a long conversation with my 2 year old friend George once I got to Stephen's house. His vocabulary has expanded somewhat since a few months ago, when I managed to keep him amused solely by using combinations of the words Cheese, Pie and No, so it took me a while to get through his new words before I could leave.
Once we eventually got going, I led out the ride from Stephen's house and I kept up a good pace for about 8 miles until we reached Rudby. I stopped at the give way line just before the sharp up and down into Hutton Rudby and as I came to a standstill my back tyre exploded.
The three of us decamped to the small triangle of grass next to the road, and began our investigations. Stephen and Adam kindly agreed not to help, so as not to spoil the broth, and thankfully they had their i-Phones with them to keep themselves amused while I investigated what had gone wrong.
A very strange puncture it was. It was not unlike a hanging chad. About six inches from the valve. I couldn't find any sharp objects in the tyre or in the wheel so I put a new tube in and off we went. About 10 yards later another identical explosion. The plot thickens.
Again I took the tyre off and found an even more prominent hanging chad in almost the same place as before. It was a big hole, but it looked like it had been made from the inside out rather than vice versa. Like a window smashed from the inside after a murder that's been contrived to look like a burglary gone wrong, this set the minds of CSI Rudby thinking. There were no sharp objects lodged in the tyre, but as we manipulated the tyre a bit we noticed that the actual tyre wall was split, and although the split was a couple of inches long, there was one point in particular that looking more hole shaped than slit shaped. Was it possible the puncture had been caused by the tube pushing out through the tyre, ie by air pushing out rather than a foreign object pushing in. It was not 100% conclusive but the consensus amongst the CSI Rudby team was that it looked plausible.
At this point Stephen offered to lend me his bike so I could ride and get a new tyre from the nearest bike shop. 'Why don't I just get a new bike', I asked?
'Don't you think that buying an entire new bike is an over-reaction, and also a quite expensive solution to the situation?', the guys asked, 'a new tyre would definitely be enough'. There was clearly a misunderstanding going on. Although I am not famed for my willingness to spend time maintaining bikes, things have not got so bad, nor am so I flush with funds, to be just throwing faulty bikes down at the roadside, and going off and buying a new one. Besides, they never have them ready in the bike shop anyway, you always need to leave it with them a couple of days, for them to tighten things up and lube the chain etc, so that was never going to work.
'No, I mean, I could ring Ruth and ask her to bring me another bike', I said. The one drawback with this, of course was that she would have to lift the replacement bike onto the roof, which since I sent her skidding down the wrong road on a patch of oil, she hasn't been able to do. So I decided to just bail out. It's good practice for the Coast to Coast to Coast in the summer, I thought.
I knew Ruth was at home, at least that's where I left her, so I thought. It'll be simple. I'll give her a ring. I wasn't too concerned when her mobile was switched off, I just rang the home phone. But no answer. This is where having two companions with i-Phones came in handy. She's been on Facebook this morning, Stephen said, she's commented on a photo I put on. At this point Adam was also uploading a fresh photo of me not being able to fix the bike.
Well, the phone isn't working, I said, can you Facebook her or send her an e-mail and tell her I need picking up. So that's what we did. We sent her a Facebook message and an e-mail to tell her that the home phone was ringing and she needed to answer it. And I thought, being rescued in the 21st Century, it's so easy! Adam had even managed to get on somebody's unsecured wireless network whose house was near the triangle of grass, so we didn't even need mobile phone coverage.
And it worked, eventually after being badgered by social network, Ruth picked up the phone. The guys kindly waited with me, and when she arrived she looked at me like I was an idiot, and then I took my shorts, and my Spring and Summer bike, and my tyre wall with the big hole in, and I went home, and I thought to myself, why oh why didn't I just wear long trousers and an eiderdown and why didn't I just stick to the Winter bike, that I've done a thousand miles on, and that hasn't gone wrong at all, and why didn't I just leave the Spring bike where it's been for 6 months, leaning up against the garage wall?.
Although sometimes it feels like it's a skill I have, Stephen pointed out with impeccable logic that it isn't by touching the bike that I've broken it. It's because the tyre is worn out. After nearly 5000 miles on that tyre, it's not surprising, and if it was worn, no doubt the six months in the garage won't have helped the integrity of the tyre wall, so there it is.
The 8 miles or so we did was fun, and I was really enjoying myself, until my bike blew up. But if you're going to spend a foggy Saturday morning standing around on a triangular piece of grass hacking into unsecured wireless networks and analysing hanging chads, I can't think of nicer people to do it with.
And if you're going to have to interrupt your wife while she's relaxing, having a nice cup of coffee and enjoying your absence, I can't think of a better way to do it than via a Social Networking Site. It seems to work so much better than the phone.
Apart from losing one or two non essential parts which were literally shaken off the bike in India I haven't had any serious mechanicals all year. I got through the entire Winter, some of it riding around Asia, without a single problem. And then we passed the Spring Equinox, and things started to unravel.
I never should have changed bikes. But it's the Spring I thought, so today I got my Spring and Summer bike out. By the same logic I also wore shorts. I can't be bothered looking out the window every time I go out, so I have a basic rule with shorts. If it's Spring or Summer, I wear shorts. If it's Autumn or Winter I wear longs. Last weekend it was Winter, so I was out in the blazing sun wearing more lagging than an elderly boiler, today it's the Spring so I was out in the freezing fog in shorts. Simples!
Anyway, I finished putting my Spring bike back together this morning, after I'd dismantled it in January during a pre-India panic attack. It all looked fine.
I set off around 8.15 this morning, with Stephen and Adam for company. It should have been at 8, but I was late. Partly because of all the things I had to adjust once I'd set off that I thought I'd put together properly before I left, and partly because I had quite a long conversation with my 2 year old friend George once I got to Stephen's house. His vocabulary has expanded somewhat since a few months ago, when I managed to keep him amused solely by using combinations of the words Cheese, Pie and No, so it took me a while to get through his new words before I could leave.
Once we eventually got going, I led out the ride from Stephen's house and I kept up a good pace for about 8 miles until we reached Rudby. I stopped at the give way line just before the sharp up and down into Hutton Rudby and as I came to a standstill my back tyre exploded.
The three of us decamped to the small triangle of grass next to the road, and began our investigations. Stephen and Adam kindly agreed not to help, so as not to spoil the broth, and thankfully they had their i-Phones with them to keep themselves amused while I investigated what had gone wrong.
A very strange puncture it was. It was not unlike a hanging chad. About six inches from the valve. I couldn't find any sharp objects in the tyre or in the wheel so I put a new tube in and off we went. About 10 yards later another identical explosion. The plot thickens.
Again I took the tyre off and found an even more prominent hanging chad in almost the same place as before. It was a big hole, but it looked like it had been made from the inside out rather than vice versa. Like a window smashed from the inside after a murder that's been contrived to look like a burglary gone wrong, this set the minds of CSI Rudby thinking. There were no sharp objects lodged in the tyre, but as we manipulated the tyre a bit we noticed that the actual tyre wall was split, and although the split was a couple of inches long, there was one point in particular that looking more hole shaped than slit shaped. Was it possible the puncture had been caused by the tube pushing out through the tyre, ie by air pushing out rather than a foreign object pushing in. It was not 100% conclusive but the consensus amongst the CSI Rudby team was that it looked plausible.
At this point Stephen offered to lend me his bike so I could ride and get a new tyre from the nearest bike shop. 'Why don't I just get a new bike', I asked?
'Don't you think that buying an entire new bike is an over-reaction, and also a quite expensive solution to the situation?', the guys asked, 'a new tyre would definitely be enough'. There was clearly a misunderstanding going on. Although I am not famed for my willingness to spend time maintaining bikes, things have not got so bad, nor am so I flush with funds, to be just throwing faulty bikes down at the roadside, and going off and buying a new one. Besides, they never have them ready in the bike shop anyway, you always need to leave it with them a couple of days, for them to tighten things up and lube the chain etc, so that was never going to work.
'No, I mean, I could ring Ruth and ask her to bring me another bike', I said. The one drawback with this, of course was that she would have to lift the replacement bike onto the roof, which since I sent her skidding down the wrong road on a patch of oil, she hasn't been able to do. So I decided to just bail out. It's good practice for the Coast to Coast to Coast in the summer, I thought.
I knew Ruth was at home, at least that's where I left her, so I thought. It'll be simple. I'll give her a ring. I wasn't too concerned when her mobile was switched off, I just rang the home phone. But no answer. This is where having two companions with i-Phones came in handy. She's been on Facebook this morning, Stephen said, she's commented on a photo I put on. At this point Adam was also uploading a fresh photo of me not being able to fix the bike.
Well, the phone isn't working, I said, can you Facebook her or send her an e-mail and tell her I need picking up. So that's what we did. We sent her a Facebook message and an e-mail to tell her that the home phone was ringing and she needed to answer it. And I thought, being rescued in the 21st Century, it's so easy! Adam had even managed to get on somebody's unsecured wireless network whose house was near the triangle of grass, so we didn't even need mobile phone coverage.
And it worked, eventually after being badgered by social network, Ruth picked up the phone. The guys kindly waited with me, and when she arrived she looked at me like I was an idiot, and then I took my shorts, and my Spring and Summer bike, and my tyre wall with the big hole in, and I went home, and I thought to myself, why oh why didn't I just wear long trousers and an eiderdown and why didn't I just stick to the Winter bike, that I've done a thousand miles on, and that hasn't gone wrong at all, and why didn't I just leave the Spring bike where it's been for 6 months, leaning up against the garage wall?.
Although sometimes it feels like it's a skill I have, Stephen pointed out with impeccable logic that it isn't by touching the bike that I've broken it. It's because the tyre is worn out. After nearly 5000 miles on that tyre, it's not surprising, and if it was worn, no doubt the six months in the garage won't have helped the integrity of the tyre wall, so there it is.
The 8 miles or so we did was fun, and I was really enjoying myself, until my bike blew up. But if you're going to spend a foggy Saturday morning standing around on a triangular piece of grass hacking into unsecured wireless networks and analysing hanging chads, I can't think of nicer people to do it with.
And if you're going to have to interrupt your wife while she's relaxing, having a nice cup of coffee and enjoying your absence, I can't think of a better way to do it than via a Social Networking Site. It seems to work so much better than the phone.
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